There is nothing more repulsive to me in this world that mayo. I don’t just hate it, I fear it. It’s a full on phobia. I was once at a Quiznos and the sandwich maker used a knife with traces of mayo on it to cut my sandwich. I made him throw the entire thing out and make me a new one. Yes, I’m a weak man.
I don’t fuck with aioli either, because that’s just mayonnaise with skinny jeans. All of it can just fuck itself out of existence for all I care. And anyone who eats french fries with mayo or asks for extra on their sandwiches deserves to be institutionalized.And then there are these two attractive young ladies at the Pistons-Kings game last night who will haunt my dreams for the foreseeable future.
— ESPN (@espn) March 20, 2018
I’m going to convince myself that this is a marketing ploy by the Kings PR department to bring some press to the worst team in the NBA. I have to believe that that container was cleaned out and filled with Cool Whip or Cadbury egg filling.
Regardless, just the visual of a spoon diving into a mayo jar will make me skip lunch. Or at least have one less slice of meat lovers pizza.
