‘Twas only a week or so ago that the following photo of Miranda Kerr’s butt was uploaded to Instagram:
“Oh look, it’s Miranda Kerr’s butt” you say as I do my damndest to hold by tongue and keep from saying “No shit fuckhead I JUST SAID THAT.” You take a gander at her bottom, then continue on with your life because a butt is a butt and like whatever it’s a butt.
…little did you know that a mystery, MYSTERY was about to fall right into your lap; a mystery that requires an innate knowledge of Miranda’s butt in order to solve it. What mystery is that, you ask? The mystery of…WHICH OF THESE BUTTS BELONGS TO MIRANDA KERR?!?!?!!!
A photo posted by Miranda (@mirandakerr) on
Which one? WHICH ONE?!! I pick left because there’s no birthmark, but for all we know Miranda actually does have a birthmark and it just gets photoshopped out of all her fancy model photos.
If you’re thinking this post will end with an answer, you’re dumb. I don’t have one. Pick a butt, say it’s Miranda’s and then pat yourself on the back for being a real true blue Sherlock Holmes, minus the Sociopathy and ability to solve mysteries.
