We all grow up believing whatever words leave our parent’s mouths is 100% truth, and they don’t lie under any circumstances. As we get older we begin to learn that our parents occasionally tell white lies to keep us sheltered, and then as we get even older many people come to learn that parents are just pathological liars spewing bullshit 24/7/365.
If this sounds jaded it’s because I just finished reading through the most common/biggest lies that moms tell and I’m now second guessing everything my mom’s ever told me in my lifetime. All of these responses came from moms in an AskReddit thread sharing their biggest/most common lies and it’s completely pulled back the curtain on how full of shit moms are, so get ready to have your world flipped upside down:The #1 biggest lie…This can also work for your favorite loud ass pet that went missing, or pet that freaked mom out (in my case it was two Colombian Red Tail Boa Constrictor snakes that my mom gave away while I was at school):
This one’s brilliant…
plausible-rationale:
Change out of that wet bathing suit or you’ll get diarrhea.
Only years later did I learn that this was a trick so we didn’t sit on the couch in a wet bathing suit.
WombatOfWar:
“I love both of you equally.” Pffft little brother ain’t got shit on me
guile20:
“If you tell me the truth, you won’t get in trouble”
ColonelSanders_1930:
“I don’t know what happened to that loud obnoxious toy you love to play with every waking moment”
Also works:
Tang_Fan:
Also – “Sorry sweetheart, they don’t make the batteries for that toy anymore” when asked by my then three year old why his toy vacuum cleaner doesn’t work.
OrgChem_4Life:
“I’ll only be 5 minutes” this one is particularly deceptive if they are walking into a shop
I definitely never had this talk with my mom…Just seems creepy
10S_NE1:
Sex is something only married people who love each other do.
SinkTube:
“Dinner’s ready.”
related:
ivebeenherelonger:
Kid: Five minutes Mom!
Mom: NOW!
Kid: heads to the dinner table Where is dinner?
Mom: It will be ready in five minutes.
snowman_cup:
“Come on, wake up, it’s half eight!” Actually 8:07.
“When you’re older.” Usually in response to some ridiculous hair style request.
“You’re old enough to not have to ask now.” does the thing “Why didn’t you ask?”
flyingfingers:
“We can do that later” Then “later” never comes!
ramturdz:
“You’re such a handsome boy”
disclaimer_necessary:
‘Oh no, *insert show here* got cancelled and taken off netflix. How awful.’
TheShawnP:
“I don’t know, ask your father.” Which was usually followed up by dad saying, “What did your mother say?”
The constant deflection had me figuring out a lot of things on my own.
WelshmanJones:
“You can have X when you’re Y years-old.”
A lie, because in a few short months later your younger sibling will have the same thing.
What the hell?!?!
forced-to-register:
Grew up in the deep south. My mom told me, when I was very young, that I couldn’t drink coffee because it would turn me black.
(link to comment for more context)
Ellisered:
my parents told me i was allergic to sugar and would die if i ate it. they even went and brought “alternative snacks” to my school teachers like carrot sticks and peanuts for them to stock up for me and hand out when the other kids got birthday cupcakes. not the worst thing they could have done to me, but it sucked. i totally believed them until i went to visit my aunt and realized that ice cream and m&m’s were FUCKING AMAZING.
but the weirdest thing was that until the 5th grade i believed in the halloween fairy. i still got to dress up in a costume and go trick or treating for hours, but at the end of the night i would leave my bag of candy outside my bedroom door, and overnight the fairy would take it and leave me a new bag full of crackers and fruit snacks and other “treats” while in reality my parents just ate all my candy.
#1 mom lie of my childhood…
Hot_KarlMarx:
That she did a great job cutting my hair.
So this one’s pretty dark….
j0m1n1n:
“I took that birthday/Christmas check from Grandma and put it in your college savings fund.”
There was no college fund. I had to pay for it myself. Still don’t know what happened to those checks.
JohnDarwin89:
“I don’t want the last piece,take it!”
Just remember that most moms love their kids and will always put their wishes behind their kids’
not1smartass:
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me”
A headache, she’s fine. Doing the chores alone, she’s fine no need to help. Crying after a fight with dad, she’s ok go to sleep.
In 5th grade my mom told me I was ‘husky’…Thanks, mom.
1Fish_2Fish_4Fish:
“You’re not fat, you’re just big boned.” gee, thanks mum.
Ashtonoos:
My mom would always tell me I was the “easiest physical birth out of all of the kids.” I felt proud until at the age of 18 I was told I was adopted.
captain_dux:
“I’d never do [insert reckless behavior from your youth]”
Meanwhile at a family gathering my aunt tells me stories of how my mom, who was also an RA, was doing keg stands with her residents at an Ivy League school.
The #1 Lie that every mom tells:
stengebt:
“I know what I’m doing”
Alright, I think by now we can all establish that mothers are pathological liars and need to be stopped. These lies go on and on and on over in the AskReddit thread, so if you want to keep reading them you can follow that link. My mom’s favorite lie? She’d always tell me something I didn’t want to eat/drink was flavorless…FUCKING BULLSHIT. She’d dump echinacea into my drink and act like I couldn’t taste it when that shit is the most rancid flavor on planet earth. If you’ve got something your mom lied to you about by all means share down below in the comments!
