Presented in partnership with Tropical Bros
Things That Have Never Been Said In The History Of Mankind:
Maybe the first two have been uttered in the confines of a straight jacket, but no one would stoop so low to ever disgrace the good name of The Hawaiian Shirt aka The Great Unifier aka A Bastion of Light in Dark Times aka The Official Apparel of ‘I’m Here For A Good Time, Not A Long Time. ’
Whether you’re digging your feet in the sand, digging your ball out of a sand trap, or digging a bartender at your local watering hole, the Hawaiian Shirt provides an essential mix of comfort, art, and personality. It’s like a wearable wingman when Dave’s being a buzzkill.
And there’s no hotter distributor of these national treasures than the Tropical Bros.
These innovators not only have the most tasteful styles of your traditional Hawaiian threads, but they’ve managed to combine the best attributes of the Hawaiian shirts with the newest technologies in athletic sportswear to deliver golf shirts so electric, your buddies will forgive you for dropping your third mulligan before the bend.
Measurables: Ultra-lightweight ♦ Ideal tuck length ♦ Durable poly-spandex fabric ♦ Moisture-wicking ♦ Dripping Sex
Ideal Owner: That one guy in the friend group who packs appropriately for a day on the beach or a day in the woods looking for a golf ball he sliced into a different zip code. He’s stocked up on everything from sunscreen to cold beers. A true five-tool player.
Ideal Owner: A tax-paying American who believes the very definition of Heaven is setting up a beach chair on 17th green of TPC Sawgrass and gazing out over the water while funky beats and a 5 mg sativa wash over him. Also, a contributing member to his community. Preferably an organ donor.
Ideal Owner: The stallion who’s meeting the future in-laws for the first time at her family cookout, who would benefit from a hefty portion of understated with a sprinkle of I May Cannonball Into This Pool As Grandma Sunbathes Nearby. Power moves early. Set the tone.
Ideal Owner: I’m actually not sure anyone should own this because art belongs in museums.
But while I don’t advise purchasing this shirt, having the ability to boast about being an esteemed Art Collector is a sure-fire way to make sure it finds its way on some lucky lady’s floor.
Ideal Owner: I’ve had serious girlfriends I didn’t connect with as much as this beaut. Finally, I found something that understands my love for cracking open coldies faster than my ex can say, “It’s only 10 am.”
The ideal owner is me. But I’m happy to be *tWiNnZiEs*
Ideal Owner: The seamen who has a sack full of it to ensure future generations are as drippy as him. Evidence of this qualification is not required at checkout.
Or you could just be the other 98% of men who constantly wear navy blue polos and spend their entire summer wondering when exactly they lost their edge. Ball’s in your fairway, chief.
