That said, I promise I won’t make heartless sponge bath jokes going forward. pic.twitter.com/lvlya8SMDG
— Francis (@franciscellis) October 15, 2020
Yesterday I wrote a piece on how to improve your standing in your grandparents’ will. Times are tough, and I’m out here offering financial advice for young people of all socioeconomic backgrounds from the goodness of my heart.
Doesn’t matter if your grandparents are Rockefellers or (insert poor name? I don’t know any)—everyone stands to get something by way of inheritance. It might be the busted folding chair that pops used for morphine naps; it’s still something. And if you don’t campaign for it, I guarantee you a cousin or sibling will.Turns out, my forward thinking didn’t sit well with one exceedingly active twitter user. @ashtroid22 was incensed! Enraged! Disgusted! And all of that would have been fine… until she called my piece “trash.” I won’t stand for that. I didn’t spend four years minoring in literature at Harvard—stumbling my way through classes like Warren’s “The Gothic Tradition,” Kaiser’s “Crime and Horror in Victorian Literature,” and English E-166: The Twentieth-Century American novel—to have my work labelled “trash.” Take that Ashley! Two can play the “look at my GLORIOUS academic credits” game.
In all seriousness, the only reason I’m airing this one out (people try to cancel me for legitimately all manner of nonsense) is because I thought “here’s the author making jokes about sponge baths” was one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while. This followup tweet is ALWAYS phrased this way, too. “In case anyone was wondering, here’s more of him being a bad dude.” Except… sponge baths. It doesn’t pack much of a punch, does it? Not a lot of venom in that imagery.
And make no mistake about it—this is a cancel attempt. People use “cancel” too freely now, but that’s what this is. When you’re retweeting things and saying “look at what else he said!” that’s a cancel campaign.
I think she tried to report my tweet about her tweet.
— Ashley Holub (@ashtroid22) October 16, 2020
No surprise there. Something tells me she reports a lot of tweets. A LOT. Might even have a special button for it. But I’ve heard that whenever a Karen reports a tweet and Jack Dorsey says, eh, no biggie, an angel gets its wings. True or false?
Feels like I dodged a bullet on this one. Keep up the good work though Ashley. Glad to know someone is keeping watch over these mean streets.