Sexual horror stories are like driving by the scene of a massive crash on the highway. While you truly feel sorry for the people involved you can’t help but check it out.
That being said, reading about sexual horror stories involving anal sex? Well, that takes things to a whole other level of frightening.
That’s more like going into a really good haunted house, knowing you’re going to be scared shitless and doing it anyway.So, now that I have covered all the appropriate analogies for today, gird yourself, because the folks over at Cosmo got 12 people to share their anal sex horror stories and good god, it ain’t pretty.
My then-boyfriend (now husband) and I decided to try having anal sex in the shower. We made the very stupid mistake of using shampoo for lube. It was terrible and embarrassing! I jumped out of the shower, called my sister, and asked what the hell to do because it burned so badly. She laughed at me. I had to kick him out of the shower and let the water run on it for a while. It took a couple days for the hurt to finally go away. I don’t suggest trying this ever.” — Julia, 21
“I was having anal sex with my boyfriend at his parents’ place while they were gone and we decided to do it on the couch. When he pulled out, I pooped all over the couch, and we tried to clean it up but it was a white couch, and it wouldn’t come out, so we just blamed it on the dog.” — Katie, 21
“My boyfriend and I wanted to try anal sex for the first time. As we were doing it, he was super nervous I was going to shit on him, making the experience awkward and nerve-wracking. When I get nervous, I get gassy, so although that never happened, I let out a huge fart as he pulled out and he jumped back, thinking I had shit on him. And then tumbled off the bed. Really weird. Never did it again.” — Emily, 23
“My boyfriend and I decided we wanted to try anal sex, so we started doing our research to make sure we did everything right and made it a good first time. We knew we need to have lots of lube so we bought some, but what we didn’t know was that we accidentally bought warming lube. The more we did it the more it burned, it was awful … never again.” — Brooklyn, 24
“The guy I was dating at the time and I had done anal before, but this time was significantly more uncomfortable than before. He finished and got up to get dressed. I rolled over and noticed a tub of hair gel sitting on the table next to his bed. When he reached next to his bed for what he thought was lube, he accidentally grabbed the hair gel and used it as lube.” — Paige, 22
“It was our first time. He wasn’t a particularly well-endowed man but he was a pretty good lover. Until we got to anal sex — now, mind you, I’m a bigger girl with a big butt — and he couldn’t reach. We tried all sorts of positions and he was too small to get in there. I was mortified and I’m sure he was just as embarrassed. We put back on our clothes and sat awkwardly apart all night.” — Liz, 20
Check out the rest of the anal sex horror stories people shared over at Cosmo. If you dare.
