Fun Fact: Did you know that BYU’s team colors are blue to symbolize the color of the color of their collective ballsacks?
Yeah, you won’t find that little tidbit on the school website.
But, what you will find on the BYU website is the school’s honor code that every little boy and girl must abide by to get into heaven.
Given the stringent moral laws of Mormon students, this story about BYU quarterback Zach Wilson is all the more frustrating.
First let’s take a look at Zach. There isn’t a living, breathing male reading this who hasn’t had a girl ghost him for a guy who looks exactly like this.
What a hunk!
It was announced on national television last night that sophomore quarterback took not one, but two BYU cheerleaders he couldn’t fornicate with to his high school prom.
Also, it brings up the question: Mormon’s allow cheerleaders? pic.twitter.com/DKBbHTpspT
— Jack McGuire (@JackMacCFB) August 30, 2019
Zach’s mom, Lisa, explained on Twitter how her son managed the impressive feat.
Basically the deal was, we would let him graduate early but he had to go to Prom and walk with his class. He was so enthralled with Spring Ball, asking someone to Prom was the last thing on his mind. 4 days before I told him he better find a date or I would find one for him…
So he was hanging out with some BYU friends. Explained his dilemma and 2 cute cheerleaders offered to help him out. So he took both 😉 lots of dancing, no door step moment.
— Lisa Wilson (@lisadancefit) April 15, 2018
I hope he left room for Jesus while dancing to Stairway to Heaven. And by Jesus I mean massive hard-on.